His Light Shines on Me

You wish that person would take those words away.

You wish that person would have loved deeper.

You wish that person would have been selfless.

You wish you would not have said those words.

You wish you would not have loved at all.

You wish you would not have been so selfish.

Some of those statements above i have felt have a meaning that you may not understand by just reading them. Behind them might be scars or wounds. Behind them are moments, experiences, and times of pain. Those statements have caused me to sin.

All the things i have just confessed can be forgotten. There is no use of remembering those times of pain because that will not help me grow, all i do while going over them over and over in my mind is nurture anger. I have replaced them with strength, real love, compassion, grace, and forgiveness. 

If your reading this and you know about this blog most likely you know my past and you know i gave my heart away, but ive come to realize i never gave my heart away. That is right! I really tried to give it away but it was rejected. rejected because the place i was trying to put it wasnt the right place. What i gave away was my emotions. 

This summer has been a process of gutting out and pulling together my emotions. God has been reviving me over and over. I am so thankful to be loved by our God and i am so thankful He gives me grace unending. 

BUt hey i want to give you hope in knowing the past is over and the future is a goal. Only take what you learn and love from the past and throw the rest away, because God has a plan to restore you and use you and love you. God wont put you through anything you cant handle. As it says in 1 john "....the darkness is passing and the true light it already shinning"

My favorite parts of life are when you are coming out of a trial with triumph and knowing you have already won the ones in the future because with God all things are possible.

At the beginning of this summer when i was at my weakest i knew at the end or in the future it was going to be a summer to remember. Perhaps the best summer of my life. It irritated me so much to know i was in the midst of so pain yet i couldn't have restoration at that moment. I'm sure most of you would disagree and say i could have that in that moment, but the process i had to undergo couldn't happen over night. In fact it was important that it didn't. 

I feel like the free Spirited Leah again. I can see and hear the Lord clearly again. I am free to hang from trees and love my enemies :) if i have any. I cant watch a sunset or look deeply at creation with getting all teary eyed and overwhelmed by His Spirit again ! It's so great! 

Praise Him for my struggles.

Praise Him for my victories.

Man i am so in love with Him.