Loosing sleep.
Tonight is one of those nights I need to take my own advice and read some of my previous blogs, to remember how I have learned and what I have been saved from.
Tonight is one of those nights I'm just sad to think of what I may be missing.
Tonight is one of those nights I don't want to be alone in this room.
Tonight is one of those nights where being this outspoken and full of emotions makes me be thankful I am so alone.
Tonight is one of those nights where I remember the trouble I got myself into, letting myself find worth in the wrong person or the wrong thing.
Tonight is one of those nights where all I'm wanting is a change.
Tonight is one of those nights where its just a little too dark.
Tonight is one of those nights where I feel like all my scars where created just yesterday.
Tonight is one of those nights I need to take my own advice and read some of my previous blogs, to remember how I have learned and what I have been saved from.
MY mind is going to the wrong corners of my brain! God made me so detailed and gave me a great memory. Although i seem to remember the bad things more these days, than the good things. It used to be the total opposite, but the good things God does in my life i do not forget. I have forgiven but i haven't let go completely of the hurt. Why is that so hard for us to do when thats the feeling we want the least? Is it because thats the last thing we have? If we let go of the hurt than its completely gone. Maybe i dont let go of the hurt because i will feel it was all for nothing? None of these reasons make sense but may be true. I need to do something differently.
So lately i have had lots of opportunities with my art. Although they have not played out yet. So maybe i just need to jump into my art more. I need to get the juices flowing. I need to warm up these fingers. Thats what im going to do. I will paint.
Ill post a picture soon.
Thank you cyber space for listening to me rant this late evening.
(a previous painting the Holy Spirit inspired me to do)
